In My Dream

It's really like walking down memory lane.

Visited SJC today. Whilst around the school and on my way home, all the scenes of my past four 4 years is sjc just blasted my mind. Some are images are still so vividly clear while others have already faded.

I randomly had the urge to listen to the song Le Ciel by Malice Mizer. It made me read up on Malice Mizer and X Japan all over again. About their history, their success, their break-up, whoever whoever's death and more. Really made me think of how i used to like them so much in the past. Actually i still like them now too. Though i may be engrossed in Kpop, theymusic X Japan, Malice Mizer and other Japanese bands provide are of different styles from those like Super Junior and 2AM. They do still attract me. Well, all i can say is, reminiscence of the past is always sweet (:

Anyway, back to reality. MYCTs is over. I can't say i am happy about it or anything. I didnt even put in much effort for this exams. So i won't be surprised if i dont do well at all. Moreover, the end of MYCTs doesnt mean the end for the rest. There are still so much homework to do. I just can't bring myself to be serious about work.

PW is piling up like a piece of crap. Homework is never ending. Newpapers and magazines are also piling piling piling. I really want to finish reading and doing all of them. But i am just too lazy. I keep finding excuses to everything.

Alevels chinese oral is just next week. I am very weak at it, frm what yan lao shi said, i wont even do well. But what the heck am i doing now? I am not even preparing myself for it.

No idea whats my existence in JC for when i am not even interested in anything.

You are like the sharp and flat keys of my plain music score, the peaks and valleys in my flat grasslands. You make all the music sheets seem complicated but make the music played sound colourful. You make staying in a valley dull but add excitements to the feeling of reaching a peak after a valley. We were once two green leaves on a tree. But now, we are alike two autumn ones blown in the wind, where we get more and more distant with each other. I want to know the reason why. I want to know what's happening. I don't want to continue in my path of being control by the wind. I want to go back to step 1. Or even before that, where all these didnt start.

♥For me, it’s only you ,12:56 AM.

After knowing that, i can't help but not look forward to it anymore. Why is it bothering me SO MUCH.

♥For me, it’s only you ,7:20 PM.

Wednesday 23rd June 2010:

Went to school for consultation with Ms Tan. She is just so funny and interesting at times. Thanks for your help!

After that, went for lunch with Jianyi, Wanqian, Xuelin, Angelina, Sean and Gim Hwa who also went for consultation together. Then we went back to school library to study~~ Just to decide on where to eat and where to study, we flipped a total of 3 coins today. Sean acted like a little boy on the 3rd coin flip. So funny!

So, School library. It was actually quite condusive. Except when it started to rain when it became soooooo cold. Of course studying together would not leave out times of talking and chatting. We talked about random stuff from Angie's admirer to SS Venice, to eyebrows and ourselves!

Left the library at 5 cos it closes then.

Jianyi! Nice 'book' you have there!

On my way home from school, i suddenly thought of Mr Tan Gim Chuan (former form-teacher). so i checked my message history and realised the last time we conversed was in may! and the last time i rmb i saw him was in March? I really missed this fantastic Teacher of mine! So much so much! No one can replace him, this fatherly figure. So i decided to drop him a msg and of course he replied. I am glad i did that. (:

Anyway, after that, went home to bathe and dinner before heading for Piano lesson at douby ghaut. I am not that dumb anymore! this time round i brought a coat. Douby Ghaut / Plaza Sing is always so cold cold cold.

I could play pretty well today. Despite not have a piano to practice on and have to finger notes on 'paper keys', i could play the song smoother unlike the previous songs. Toady, my fingers were very shu fu too. It was following the flow for once! Playing the keys just felt so comfortable today. No 'frozen' fingers and wrong notes!

Today was relatively enjoyable (: Thanks alot to those who made my day (:

'When have you became weary of me, what burdens have i given you?' - Kyuhyun [She's Gone]

♥For me, it’s only you ,12:37 AM.

With the exam nearing, it is really haunting me now.

Yet, I still can bring myself to watch television and slack. I am seriously out of my mind. Got a good lashing from yanlaoshi on Monday. Haiz. It makes me wanna work hard. But it was just a spur.

Why am I not like before? Disciplined?

Read the book Peaks and Valleys. A really good book on management of your ups and downs of life.

I must be more hardworking and disciplined.

- the pictures of today and yesterday are fading away, sometimes I am glad, at others, and mostly the others, I am not...

♥For me, it’s only you ,2:25 AM.

Twinkle twinkle little star

- Kyuhyun and Ryeowook [Boom Boom]

TODAY! Another day gone. Attempted to redo phy tutorial and maths apgp tutorial. Then got distracted by my bro in the afternoon and play digimon with him on the playstation. Zzz..

There's so little time left. Tmr's gone. Saturday and Sunday's gone too. If i am only counting the 4 H2 subjects, its no doubt i can finish revising them. But once i include GP newspaper reading, its sure gonna be a mess.

Ahhhhh...

Oh well. Back to work. Out tmr! (: Jianyi has been so exicted since last week!

No matter how much annoy me, no matter how many times you do it, i will never be angry with you... Why am i like that? Why do i always forgive you?

♥For me, it’s only you ,9:36 PM.

ACJC band concert yesterday!

I went with Timotheus! How long has it been since i've seen him? 6 months? D: Well, we were still very glad to meet up.

Honestly, the two of us could not enjoy the concert like we could/ should have. Maybe its cos the songs were relatively too abstract for us. We couldnt understand whatever was happening.

Oh well! It was still a peaceful night. (:

It's time to study study study! But i just cant stay home to study! COMPUTER! BIG DISTRACTION. RAAHHHH.

I shld be more self-disciplined like i used to be.

'If i could only see you again today... If i could do it again... If you came back again...' - Kyuhyun [In my dream]

♥For me, it’s only you ,11:09 AM.

Today. Stayed out the whole day at AMK library to study/revise with GH.

It was not say VERY efficient or productive, but at least we did smthing! Well, about 30% of the time was spent listening to him talk about his life and the past. It was really very interesting though. As soon as i returned home, i havent touched a single homework!

My com is seriously a BIG distraction. But if i turn it off, SLEEP will be the next distraction. I really must do smthing...

Truthfully, because my mind was occupied with work and stories from gh today, i didnt think of anything else. And really, i felt quite happy that my mind was not filled up with what it always has....

Do you believe that it's only you for me? Do you know long you can keep me by your side? - Kyuhyun [Your Eyes]

♥For me, it’s only you ,10:42 PM.

I always wonder... am i doing the right thing?

My mind is always busy thinking of many stuff. It's always filled to the brim. It's either about school work, school work, more school work, or simply something else.

Lately i havent been talking much to my family members. I am always home late. And whenever i am back, i would bathe, go to my room and do work or come online. Even if when i am with them, i hardly have anything tot say to them. I suddenly feel like i am living in those rebellious youth period where i simply dont want to let my family know anything, or i am just too lazy to share it with them. Actually another reason why i hardly talk to them is because they also refuse to listen to what i have to say and they dont understand all the sch work i tell them. What else can i do?

Revision for the mid years is a failure. Maybe only ytd when i wasnt at home and was doing work outside. Whenever i am home, i am either facing my bed or my computer, two distractions in my life. Shall go out to the library to do work tmr.

For today, its just some family time with my bro and mum. Hopefully smthing comes out well for us, it has really been a long time.

My hair's getting long. Why does it grow so quickly? Its like increasing in its length but decreasing in its thickness. All the hair that's growing are so thin! Grrr.

♥For me, it’s only you ,12:13 PM.